Short Update

We took a field trip today... nothing novel or humorous about that... but here are a couple pictures of my little monsters and I at the museum.
This is my 6 year old "Pennsylvania" class. (front to back: Julie, Stella, Thomas, You-jin and Henry)

And this is my 4-5 year old "Cornell" class. ( Back: Sherry Teacher, Justin, Katie and Yoonji Front: Jennie, Eunice, Jun (June) and Sean)

Oh.. and one of my student's brought me a Frappacino and cookies today! Another one brought me a box of chocolates from Guam. That was kinda chill... I'm all about my apple polishers.

Dong-Chim

“Here is the church, here is the steeple; here is the way we say “morning” to teacher.” (SIC) - if that acronym can also be applied to words that don’t exactly rhyme, but for lack of creativity are used anyway

I’m not talking about the neon-cross adorned steeples that light the night sky from the hundreds of churches scattered around the city of Seoul; rather, I am making reference to the extended pointer fingers of tiny intertwined hands that seek, with the accuracy and enthusiasm of a well practiced proctologist, to salute the teacher foolish enough to turn a back. Every morning cries of "Dong-Chim" echo through the school, and are drowned by the even louder cries of the surprised teachers. Dong-Chim... is litterly translated "Poop Needle" .... oh gosh. I swear it must be a national sport here, and I am its super bowl.

This is just one of the many surprises of being a Hagwan (kiddy school) teacher; but the parents among you would likely find none of it to be especially different from your own experiences. (save maybe Dong-Chim)


We have “Broke Back Hagwan”… featuring a little boy who is always trying to kiss, with great affect, another little boy in the class. I’m not prepared to address that one yet.

There are many nose bleeds, from excessive picking; bumps, bangs and scratches are no strangers; but the best story I’ve had thus far was an act of revenge that I distinctly remember contemplating in my youth.

The dilemma, of course, is determining how to separate those who need to use the bathroom from those who simply want to escape from your class for a while. I can remember one such seat squirming occasion, when I was being taught a lesson about crying wolf, and I can remember thinking, “ fine… if the evil teacher won’t let me go to the bathroom, I’ll use the trash can… that will show her!” In the end, my evil plans never came to fruition; likely due to the large wooden paddle sitting on Principal (and Uncle) Carl’s bookshelf. Oh man had I had my meetings with that Guantanamo-esque attitude adjuster. I wonder if there is a scientific correlation between hewn pine and bladder capacity… must be.

So, even though I wanted to scold the little girl for dropping trou and relieving herself under the table, I couldn’t. For as I got down on my hands and knees with a box of tissues, I couldn’t hide my own smile…… my inner child was doing back flips…. “Good for you kid…… good for you.”

More Pictures

Here are a few more pictures I promised you. I've been too busy to do anything but teach lately, but I'll try to get back to this coffee shop this weekend and file a proper update.

A teachers eye view..

You-jin - one of my favorites

Our work area, with the ever watchful headmaster Eunice in the "I see you desk"..

Exterior View of School

My lil' 4-5 year old monsters.... oh man I hate this class... I'de love them if it wasn't my job to make them work... how would you keep 4 year old kids in a desk for 6 hrs a day?

Clearly I can't always .....

Oh... and just incase you thought I was joking about the cars... here are two Bentley's in front of our school during an average lunch day... If I had a wider angle, I would have captured two high end Lexus's on either side....

um... I'll start saving... I think they go for around 500k here...

9021aahhhhsoooo

Any fantasies I might have had about making a difference and changing the life of a young child were succinctly shattered by the piston shredding, ego smashing, 10 cylinder Lamborghini that shat her spoiled cargo directly into my classroom. So if later, my lightning quick reflexes did not react fast enough to stop said brat from taking a sharpie to her Coach bag … you might understand.

Welcome to Cheongdam, the “Beverly Hills” of Seoul, a festering testimony to capital opulence where Bentley’s are as common as Taxi’s and a C-class Mercedes would be considered an eye sore. I sat in McDonalds today and watched some jack-ass sitting on the second floor automatically raising and lowering the top of his Mercedes SLK every time a westerner would walk by outside… I wanted to slap him, but more than anything else… I wanted to push the button. Haha…. Man I’m jealous… and sad.

Sad because 50 feet below this designer sweat pant wearing (yes they even make designer sweat pants, try Versace for $350+), D&G glasses sporting fool is a subway crammed full of people working 7 days a week just to make ends meet. I know we have the same problems in our own country, but one distinct difference is our powerful middle class, who help bridge the prosperity gap and provide hope for a way out to the struggling poor…at least in theory.

Hahaha…. man am I distracted. I actually logged on to share a few photo’s that I took around town today.. I guess I just got distracted by the $4 cup of coffee I had to buy in order to use the wireless Internet connection.

I really do love my kids, and spoiled or not, they are precious. I’ll try to post some pictures of my kids later this week.. but for now, here are some other random pics.


Here is home sweet home....

The mainstreet outside our school... any guesses what that is on top of the Chrysler dealership? (hint... Fore!)

I hiked up this lil' mountain to get some night shots of the city and almost wept when, utterly exhausted, I found this waiting at the top....

Ok... I either have to buy another cup of coffee or leave... I'm jittery enough. Thanks for the comments and I'll share more soon!

Korea Update 2

Expect an update soon... but here's a quick what's happening.

1. Classes began this week, and I moved from a Korean "Love Motel" (everything but the quarter slots on the bed (floor)) into my permanent apartment.

2. It's hard work, with up to 8 classes per day but I'm enjoying it.

3. I love the kids... they are, in US ages, 5-13. My 5 year olds can be a handful.. my age 13 students can be too honest. Today I asked them to write a journal about any subject they wanted. One of the girls asked if she could write about exercise. I said sure. She followed that up with, "You look like you don't likes exercise." Everyone laughed... especially me.

My little kids keep trying to get out of eating lunch.... "teacher, teacher; my neck and my stomach are ouch" said in the most pitiful voice imaginable. I got her to finish her food but now "Steve teacher is scary teacher" is the popular thing to say.

(you don't get any break with the kindergarden classes... you take all breaks and lunches with them, serve them their food, clean them up etc etc...) I feel like a stay at work mom.


4. I lost my passport for the first time.... bad monkey. I filed for a new one and it should be here in a couple weeks. I suppose I'm stateless until then ;-) Ok.. it's Friday night and I have to get out of this school!!! See ya next week.

Oh... I also got a cell phone this week. My number is 010-8693-5354.